18 “I Don’t Believe In That 100%” and “They’d Been Trying To Get Rid Of Me For Ever”

Guest 1

[00:00:00] It's not black and white and it isn't a magical. I mean, I guess it could be construed as a magical kind of help to sparkle in your life to employ these things. But I think overall, it just subconsciously will help improve and also remind what sparks of joy. And so therefore it flourishes from from within you. And then outwardly, of course, what the hell is my job? I think I just kind of subconsciously picked up on it when I was five years old. Four years old when I had a friend down the street. I don't remember her name because she moved away when I was 7 or 8, but her grandmother was from China and her parents were gone during the day, and the grandmother took care of her and I went in her house. I'm like, what are these rainbows and crystal and silk chairs and mahogany and mother pearl inlay in the wood. And like, I was just like, this is this is like fantasy. This is magical land for me. Really. Like, I connected with an early age from that point, but didn't know the name.

So I used to live in China, teach there. So I also gained experience from there. The older crowd of like 60 and up, like in 2005, 6 or 7, they really believed in Feng shame. Very much so, and took it seriously. But like the 20 and 30 year olds were like, yeah, that's just, you know, hearsay. And it's just like, and I don't really believe in it. It's superstitious, but I always have my foot in the special needs community, and I have been for 20 years. I was a nanny and also behavior therapist, also had an ABA therapy license, but I don't believe in that 100%. I believe in certain aspects of it, but it's not for every child. And more the artsy side, not the scientific data track everything side. And so therefore I think not only looking at behavior, looking at your environment and how it will best serve you and like what, type of children you're working with. And what are their needs with, different, spectrums of autism? Right. So there's, different children that I've personally worked with where, you know, a very Zen like environment with nothing on the table and only, you know, simple colors so that they can see things, more simply and to do whatever they need to do, like studying or, it depends on their age. So depending on the age, depending on their circumstances, setting, I look at that. So if somebody gives me a scenario of, okay, we have, you know, a seven year old that has ADHD and like, you know, I walk into their room and it's like red and jungle colors and I'm like, okay, well, let's just test this out. Let's put blues, take out the red comforter, take out the red, paint the orange, the jungle theme.

Let's just try like, you know, lighter colors, white blues, greens, see how it feels. But I also incorporate, like, organizing and also being attached to objects and making space to make time for loved ones and having a, very flow, like, room for children. And also I've helped, children who have ADHD or ADHD slowing down the room, with colors and placement of pillows, and they actually have gained more focus. So kind of implementing my, teaching background, but also with my environment. And usually the child has more attention span, more focus on whatever they're needing to do. If it's, you know, three year old puzzles, if it's seven year old, their homework, or even just engaging in social play, like when they have people over and having things organized helps the child's mind kind of focus more and also be attentive to what's going on around them. [00:04:44][284.2]

Naty [00:04:49] Hey folks, it's Naty. We'll be back with more right after this break. What the hell is my job? [00:05:00][11.3]

Guest 2: [00:05:01] I was teaching online and there was a girl, and her older brother was, like, in the frame. And they didn't realize that, like, the microphone on his door. [00:05:08][6.9] Damn. Oh, she is a beautiful woman like that. [00:05:11][3.0] And I just saying all these things. And I was like, I think that better be fine. Is your homework like, please make sure, like, you're, like, at an appropriate date at a Dodge. But then, because the other students heard him say that the other students were like. [00:05:24][12.5] Well, she's a man, so that makes you gay. [00:05:28][2.6] Actually, like, in this 16 year old, this high schooler was now, like, mortified and embarrassed because he got called out for, like, thinking that trans woman is pretty. I definitely saw stuff like that happen a few times where the students would say something like that offhandedly and then like, not know how to process or handle the teasing that was happening because of their peers, which is, again, like a story that's like as old as time. We hear that all the time, especially with like the murder of trans women and like, you know, DL men have no sex workers or even like with parents that kind teacher conferences were always very awkward.

I would definitely have like, dads hitting on me at times at school, and, I just wouldn't know what to do. It was very challenging, and there was like a lot of institutional issues, just with education in itself, that I had a lot of greats with and struggled against, not even like as a trans person. And then my just transition made it all the all the more complex. And so every year I kind of ended up bouncing around to new jobs, just like constantly moving around. And it was really disorienting and just not really gratifying, which really sucked because teaching in itself, I really, really enjoyed, like when I was connecting with the kids and we were actually doing the thing, or if I was like, teaching content, that's how good it was, really rewarding. And then the just the moments that I actually experienced that kind of got fewer and farther in between.

So I left and I thought they'd be angrier that I like kind of left them hanging. And they were like, oh, thank God. Like they did not care that I cried at all. They're so relieved. They weren't trying to get rid of me. And I was like the union representative in our districts that they, like, hated me because I was like the tranny who knew the agreement and could, like, please, on my way back into a job that my kind of exit plan was to go into electrolysis for a few reasons, mainly because my on electrolysis is a trans woman and she just seemed happy and successful and well-adjusted, and she's like one of the few trans women who I know that is over the age of 50 who seems to be doing well for herself.

And that was just not like that was something I've been talking about a lot lately, where I've really been struggling to see myself and like the older generations, or like what it looks like for a trans woman to succeed and be well-adjusted like 20, 30 years down the line of her transition, just because it feels like most of us are either dead, dying, or detransition or like people just go stealth and you just never, you know, you just never hear from them again. She was making more money than me and seemed to be killing it. And I like that. I like how removed from like, the public eye she was. I hate it being in such a public platform, being a teacher. I hated the like, responsibility of being a teacher and the, like, kind of moral like pedestal they put you on.

I wanted to help trans people. I felt like I was doing that a little bit in public school with trans kids, but mostly I wanted to be like, directly enabling, you know, like trans people in their transitions and in their lives. And so it does feel like there's a need for a practice where trans people just where it's just chill. For a year now, I've been apprenticed to, my own electrolysis, and I dropped like 15 grand on all the machinery and stuff that you need. And I set up a little studio and it's kind of, taken off. Now. I finally kind of launched. My goal is to be able to work two days a week and have like two, $500 days, and if I can do that, then I'll be making more money than I did as a teacher working full time. I remember being in my laser techs office at like one of my like, you know, first few sessions and, you know, I'd be like finished up the session. And I was just like, really like raw. And she was like. [00:09:11][222.0] How are you feeling? And I was like, I don't know anyone who looks like me. And I was like, honestly. [00:09:14][3.5] And I don't like sobbing in her office. And, she was like, oh my God. Because she, like, only worked on, like, trans women. So she like, called up a bunch of the girls and was like, we're going to go get coffee. And she's like, you should Disney like to like, go into the dolls? And I was like, yeah. And yeah, it's like moments like that where I'm like, that's what I want to provide for my clients. [00:09:35][19.5]

Naty I hope you liked the episode. Please help us out by raiding us, sharing with your friends, or buying us a coffee at buy me a coffee.com slash. What the hell is my job? It costs us money and time to be here for you at the start of every single week, so please consider supporting us. See you next time.